Forgive & Forget

Wow already we are on the 3rd day of fasting, I hope everyone’s fasts went well and may all your prayers, duas and effort be accepted Insh’Allah.

So my first day was a bit slow and lazy to be honest but yesterday I started reading the Quran and getting used to the fasting (I miss my Netflix snacks) but it’s ok, just making up for it in the evening instead..

I haven’t had any Red Bull FYI, I am craving it but that’s only because I said that I wasn’t going to have it.. Ugh.. On a more positive note I cooked for 2 members of Girl Squad M & S.. They don’t have food poisoning – Alhamduliah and they enjoyed my food (I think) well there was hardly any leftover so it must have been ok.. Found a new quick and easy recipe for Nutella Cookies.. (DM me if you want the recipe).

Soooo as promised todays blog is going to be about forgive and forget (I will try not to go too deep). With Ramadan here this is the best time to encourage forgiveness and ask for forgiveness.

I have lost count of the amount of people that have done something to hurt me (I’m not a bad person I promise) but I do trust, expect and respect people. Something which people take advantage of.

When you expect from people, there will always be disappointments.
When you trust people, they will always abuse it.
When you respect people, they will always disrespect you.

I say always.. but does that mean everyone is bad.. No.. But there is a difference between intentionally doing something or unintentionally doing something. Based on your mentality and perception you will take it in a certain way.

Are you sensitive.. Do you take comments to heart.. Do you jump to the bad before you think of the good.. Are you insecure..

There are 1 million and 1 ways you can take a persons actions, sometimes good, sometimes bad.

When someone does something to you think to yourself, was it intentional or was it unintentional were they saying it as constructive advice for me to better myself, or were they saying it to make me doubt myself.

From someone who used to lie in bed at night and over think every small detail and analyze each individual word that someone said to me and what I said to them.. It became toxic. I couldn’t sleep I would be awake just thinking and thinking, it wasn’t even necessary thoughts or productive.. I would think so much that my brain would be exhausted and I would just pass out.. I cant stress how damaging this is to your health..

Ok once in a while we have a stressful day or we have an argument with someone for example and it bothers us, we lie there thinking and of a solution or how to apologize or make the situation better. But to be overthinking constantly everyday it is TOXIC.. To think back and reflect (short periods of time) in a positive way is something different, this is the best way to improve yourself.

Forgiving someone is the easy part but forgetting is what takes its toll on your mental well being.

In life holding a grudge against someone takes a lot of unnecessary feelings emotions and mental strength which doesn’t even deserve it. There will be people that do things to you in a hurtful, spiteful way but there will also be people who treat you as a Queen or King, respect you, care for you, love you and trust you.

Whatever hurt and suffering you have felt before will make you a stronger person, these are the life skills in life learned to reach success. Each time someone betrays you and knocks you down you will get up stronger and wiser.

By you forgiving someone it shows you are the better person.. You will be so proud of yourself, you did not retaliate in a bad way or seek revenge. God sees everything and he is not asleep. As Muslims we believe on the Day of Judgement we will be asked about our actions.

Don’t worry the person who has done you wrong (no matter how small or big) they will pay for it somewhere along the line.. As they say karma is a b***h and I would never wish bad on anyone, leave it in Gods hands but life has mysterious ways of working which we will never understand.

To forget.. Is not easy and sometimes you don’t want to forget.. When you forget it kind of feels as though that person will be never part of your life, while if you think about it from time to time it is as though they are still part of your life.

Now answer this question. Do you want a toxic person/ feeling / emotion to be part of your life..?

Of course not..

We want positive energy and people around us that genuinely care and want the best for us. We want to be happy and smiling as much as we can. Life is too short to be sad and depressed over someone or something which clearly isn’t worth it (or you wouldn’t be sad and depressed).

Do you think the person who hurt you is sitting around sad.. The answer to that is if someone is genuinely apologetic and sincere you would have forgiven and forgotten about it.

But they have moved on with their lives and they are happy, they forgot about you time ago. So why are you putting your life on pause for someone who clearly doesn’t care…

Women in particular we seek answers and closure.. I’ve come to realize that you will never get the answer you were hoping for (9/10 times it hurts more from the answer they gave). They will probably lie to you directly (because no one wants to look like the bad person). Lastly you will never even get an answer or closure to satisfy.

Take it upon yourself to wish that person the best (be the better person) and move on because if that person was good and worthy to be part of your life… They would have proven it to you based on their actions.
You’re gonna be sad for a while, this is human nature, but straighten your crown you are a Queen/King.. Then you’re gonna stop caring and its the best feeling ever.

Know your worth and value as a person (put your pride and ego to the side). Everyone deserves the best in their life, don’t settle for anything less you don’t need that kind of negativity bringing you down.

For me personally I cannot surround myself with negative people, the energy and vibe is just so mentally draining. We all have our “sad days” when we need our chocolate snacks, love and support from our loved ones..

But constant negativity makes you think negatively.

Bad vibes be gone.

Everyone has an opinion on someone else but I don’t allow that to effect me, those who are important in my life, I value their opinion as I know they would want the best for me. Who is not important and their opinion is not genuine or sincere just goes in one ear and out the other I don’t bother myself with the negativity.

But I will say one thing for my readers to consider..

Words hurt

Even if it’s out of anger, care, love, frustration they still hurt and do damage even if you don’t mean it. So think about what you want to say carefully with a calm and respectful and reasonable attitude, guaranteed it will be received in a totally different way.

If you have done wrong to someone either intentionally or unintentionally ask for forgiveness, this is the best time.

Apologize, put your pride and ego to the side, it doesn’t lower your value in the eyes of anyone else in fact you become better and more respected in their eyes by owning up and admitting your mistakes.

On that note I will leave you will a few positive thoughts.. For the sake of yourself and your future it’s time to walk away.. You gain so much more when you remove people and thoughts that don’t belong in your life. You are beautiful, you are loved and we all make mistakes, no one is perfect.

Your mental health and well being are priceless.. The long term damage needed to repair the thoughts takes time.. So the quicker you forget and move on.. The quicker you are going to be healed.

No matter what kind of challenges or difficulties or painful situations you go through in your life, we all have something deep within us that we can reach down for to find the inner strength to get through this.

Be the best person you can be.

Forgive and forget

Leesh x