COVID-21

It’s been a while since I wrote my last blog, I guess I lost a bit of motivation and inspiration – it’s normal. After some soul searching, quality time with the family and a rollercoaster ride of corona in my family, I’m back and stronger than ever Alhamdulilah.

You might ask me why its Covid – 21 and not Covid – 19, well after all these years of staying safe and protecting ourselves it caught up to my mum and I at the beginning of this year. So all the positivity of New Years and 2021 will be our year and the best yet.. Well no that came to a pause at the mid of February when we both got unwell, but now Alhamdulilah things are getting better and my mum is recovering day by day the “best year yet can get back on track”.

Let’s back track slightly and go back to the whole “lost motivation and inspiration”, honestly this whole situation with Covid is actually a nightmare. Whatever your conspiracy thoughts are, whether you believe it’s real, the bat story, 5G etc etc it has had a dramatic impact on our lives in a way that no one would have even thought or dreamt about. I consider myself a strong person and the change in life hit me hard, mostly about not being able to travel freely back and forth to my family and having that distance because it’s not “safe”. The “normal” life has changed in the blink of an eye to having curfews, lockdowns, permission to go to the supermarket, airports closed, your nearest and dearest passing away alone. Being isolated because you have the fear of getting sick and when you live alone the first thing you think about is who will look after you? The answer in this situation is no one because you don’t want to get them sick either. It’s sad, but it’s the reality that we are facing and it doesn’t seem to be going back to how it was anytime soon.

Sometimes I felt like these past 2 years will be lost from our lives and we will never get it back or how many different experiences we could have done in those years, traveling and making memories. When you think about it, firstly everything happens for a reason, yeah at the time we don’t understand and it’s difficult but when you look back and reflect it actually makes sense.   The reason became clear to me and actually made me appreciate and value everything in my life, no matter how small or big. 

In a funny way I had “planned” my life choices and what I would be doing and putting the action plans in place for the next steps, to say none of those went through at all just shows you that no matter how much you plan or how much you want something if it isn’t written or meant for you it will never ever ever happen, accept it and know that there is something better waiting for you. 

I remember at my birthday with girl squad by the pool and telling them that this would be my last birthday in Dubai and I would be moving back to London in January/February of this year – even though I was meant to be moving back to London the previous year – then Covid appeared. We were all happy and sad, crying and laughing in the same moment. Happy because its my birthday, reminiscing about all the good times and funny stories plus I will be starting a new chapter, but sad because we wont be as close (distance wise) and our random experiences, memories, coffee outings and last minute plans wont happen. M from girl squad was like no not happening you’re not going back, S was like whatever is written for you will happen. 

So I guess it was a combination of both that turned out to happen, I’m still here and a new chapter is in the making with a whole new set of plans – all will be revealed soon inshallah after Ramadan.

Now back to Covid – 21, I would like to thank all the people who supported me during the tough time and for all the prayers, duas, well wishing, flowers, love and care for both my mum and I, we are both so grateful and truly blessed to have each and everyone of you in our lives. 

To everyone who donated blood on behalf of my mums blood transfusion, words cannot explain how much my family and I appreciate it and you will always be remembered in our prayers and duas. 

People who I don’t even know donated and sent get well wishes to my mum, it just shows humanity does exist and there are some nice people out there – don’t lose hope, just hold on to the good ones when you find them. 

Covid is real and I can’t explain to you how much my mum suffered from it, from both underlying conditions and Covid put together. Even after being in hospital for over a month, she’s still at home with oxygen and unable to walk longer than a couple of minutes. The effect that it has had on her is sad and mentally destroying for her, an independent business woman, best mama and best friend to me has had her life turned upside down by this terrible unknown disease. We were very close to losing her from our lives but Alhamdulilah by the grace of Allah (swt) will she has come back home to be with us which we will be eternally grateful for.

To be honest if you only knew the full details about the hospital experience you would be traumatized from what we have had to go through and more importantly my mum. I’m sure everyone has a bad story to tell but when it’s your parent you feel like you’re in the worst situation, staying strong is really hard no matter what anyone says or how strong you think you are.

Mum, words can’t express how proud I am of you for fighting this hard battle and dealing with the unfortunate outcomes, you are really Superwoman. 

Thank you to all the doctors and nurses who treated and cared for my mum, you were her adopted family during those weeks, when unfortunately visitors weren’t allowed due to the covid situation.

Mum, I know you’re reading this so can you please chill out and let me look after you this time and inshallah we will get you back stronger and healthier than you were before.   

Mum, thank you for always supporting me even through times like this, you are truly one of a kind and I am truly blessed to have you as my Mum. 

On a final note, one of my upcoming blogs will be about my new business venture –  which I’m super excited to announce, still working on the fine details as of now, but I hope that it will help and support those who need it and that’s what is most important to me.

Stay safe,

Leesh x